


26

by cloudtopcruise



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunk Texting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, this is silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5660635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudtopcruise/pseuds/cloudtopcruise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaius tries to help Chrom send flirty drunk texts to Robin. This can only go good places, I'm sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	26

**Author's Note:**

> This happened because I was discussing dick pics with my good pal [Phantomdoodler](http://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomdoodler/pseuds/phantomdoodler), which somehow encouraged me to write a bunch of fics that are primarily/entirely text messages. This is probably the only one worth posting.
> 
> Also this modern AU is different from that other modern AU I wrote...basically, Robin lives with Validar but stays over at Chrom's place so often that he practically lives there. He's got a toothbrush there and everything. I think that's all that's really relevant to this fic.

Gaius was still not convinced that Chrom had seen enough of the “real world” yet. Tonight’s “real world”, apparently, was a weird bar in a suspicious place they had to walk to because Frederick would never agree to drive them anywhere near it.

It was disorienting, as was the case with most outings with Gaius, but it started to become more fun as the night went on and more drinks were ingested.

Though it was probably mostly because of the drinks, come to think of it.

At some point during the night, Chrom's phone buzzed. He might have ignored it — until he saw Robin's name up on screen. For Robin, of course, he'd drop everything immediately.

> **Robin**  
>  Where are you? You left your door open.  
> 
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  I’m out with Gaius! And guess I let the door open
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Ah. Well, I’m sleeping here, so you know.

“Whozzat?” Gaius asked, leaning obnoxiously over Chrom’s shoulder.

Chrom pressed his palm against Gaius’s face to push him away. “Robin,” he said. “He’s at our house right now."

“Oooooh. Poor Bubbles, all alone. For shame, Blue.” Chrom would’ve pointed out that it was Gaius’s fault Robin was alone, then, but it didn’t seem worth it. “Speakin’ of Bubbles, you two a thing yet or are you still being all weird about it?”

“No,” Chrom said. “...Or. Yes? We’re not a thing, is what I mean.”

“Man, still?” Gaius punched Chrom in the shoulder, maybe a little too hard. “I’m really getting sick of you guys and your bottled feelings.”

“What,” Chrom said, rubbing his shoulder, “you think I should, uh...confess to him or something?”

“What? No. No, no, no, no,” Gaius said, shaking his head furiously. “You can’t just tell a guy you like him, you’ll look like a tool.”

Chrom looked at him blankly. “Oh,” he said. “...So what am I supposed to do, then?”

“He’s gotta say he likes you first,” Gaius said. “Thennn you don’t have to look like a tool.”

All of that sounded kind of off, though Chrom wasn’t sure if it was Gaius’s ideas that didn’t make sense or if he was just too drunk to process them. “Am I supposed to just wait for that…?”

“You can try and...like…charm it outta him,” Gaius said, making vague hand gestures that most likely didn’t mean anything. “He already likes you so you just gotta, y’know, nudge ‘im.”

Chrom considered this for a few seconds, before deciding he didn’t want to go through the trouble of deciphering that plan. “...What?”

Gaius groaned and punched Chrom in the shoulder again. “Ugh, just like, tell him he’s cute or some shit.”

> **Chrom**  
>  Gaius says to tell you you're cute
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Thanks Gaius
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  You're cute
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Got it

"You're blowin' it," Gaius said, swiping Chrom's phone out of his hand. "Let me do it."

> **Chrom**  
>  Hey ro in if ur by urself y don't I come over an keep u company ;)))))
> 
> **Robin**  
>  I'm fine. Thanks for the offer, Gaius.

Gaius frowned and chucked Chrom's phone back at him. "Your boyfriend's too smart."

"What do I do now?" Chrom asked.

Gaius started to lean back until he remembered he was seated on a stool. "...Uhhhhh, say what I just said, but y'know, for real."

> **Chrom**  
>  Fo r real do you want me to come home??this is Chrom
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Are you guys out drinking?
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  No  
>  Yes
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Don't let me break up your fun, then.

"He says he doesn't want to break up our fun," Chrom said. Not that Gaius wasn't back to leaning over toward the screen.

Gaius leaned forward so he could snatch Chrom’s phone again. “Let me try again—"

> **Chrom**  
>  Bein alone w you is more fun  
>  ;)  
> 
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Thank you Gaius

"Why does he keep doing that?" Gaius grumbled.

Chrom shrugged. “I guess you’re not very good at pretending to be me.”

“What? My Blue impression is spot on, I dunno what you’re talking about.” Gaius seemed much more offended at that than he probably needed to be. “Whatever. You talk to him.”

“And say what?”

“Well shit, Blue, I dunno!” Gaius said. He once again chucked Chrom’s phone at him. Chrom fumbled to catch it before it hit the ground. “You’re the one he likes, say something likeable.”

Chrom didn’t find that particularly helpful, but figured he might as well try saying something.

> **Chrom**  
>  Well it's not that fun so I could like come home anyway so
> 
> **Robin**  
>  It's fine  
>  It’s pretty late, so I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get back  
>  I'm also not really big on hanging around people when they're drunk, so…
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  I'm not thatdrunk I can stil spell and everything  
>  *still that doesn't count  
>  * space
> 
> **Robin**  
>  :v
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  Really up until that point no typos
> 
> **Robin**  
>  Don't you use autocorrect anyway?
> 
> **Chrom**  
>  Maybe
> 
> **Robin**  
>  I’ll just leave you alone

“...Y’know, that’s a pretty big assumption,” Chrom said. “That Robin, like...likes me.”

“What, why?” Gaius asked. “‘Course he does. I’ve told you that like a thousand times.”

“You do say that a lot,” Chrom said. “But I mean. Pretty sure you’re just fucking with me, like always.”

“Hey, maybe I do fuck with you a lot, but not this time,” Gaius said. Chrom looked unconvinced. “Fiiiiine, don’t believe me. Just forget it then.”

“...Yeah, forget it.”

 _Forgetting it_ was harder than it sounded.

> **Chrom**  
>  Ok listening to Gaius is always a bad idea idk why I left that Whalen  
>  *let  
>  *happen  
>  What is Whalen haha  
>  Ok but serious time now  
>  Not blistering to Gaius Anymore not letting him type or telling me what to type  
>  Listening  
>  He want s me o say I like you but not to say it first or I'llsound like. A tool  
>  Now that's I think about it that doesn't make any sense  
>  Well that's Gaius  
>  I I wish I knew you'd be there before I agreed to go with Gaius this place is kinda crepty tbh  
>  Also he won't stop livking sugar off of glasses and it s weirding me out  
>  Gaiu s is a good friend and all but honestly lik e why  
>  Ok that s not important  
>  You're nice to hang out with  
>  Is what's I was I going to get at  
>  And you're actually cute seven though Gaius told me to say that the first time  
>  So I actually me an that  
>  And I want to be alone with you also  
>  Because I like you  
>  Love tkind of like  
>  Ok you know what actually I do feel like s tool now  
>  Ignore all those texts ok  
>  Are you reading any of these  
>  Uh don't  
>  I'm going home

Robin was asleep on the couch when Chrom returned, fully dressed with his arm dangling off the side. A few inches below his hand, his phone was laying on the floor.

"...You awake?" When Robin didn't respond, Chrom walked over to pick his phone up off the ground. The last batch of texts Chrom sent showed up on screen when he pressed the home button. So maybe Robin hadn't read them yet.

After deleting 26 messages, Chrom set Robin’s phone on the end table and went off to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn formatting this was a pain. Anyway I promise the next thing I post will be more quality than this.
> 
> Also Robin needs to put a damn pin on his phone


End file.
